I ordered an extra large birthday cake to celebrate my 85th. Large enough for residents, their relatives, and staff to have seconds.
It was to be the size of a third of a card table. I chose the icing to be pink, orange, and purple flowers, and a candle of the same colors.
When I saw it in person for the first time I was astounded. It was spectacular and the birthday candle shimmered in the dining room lights.
My two sons, my grandson, and my daughter-in-law Laura joined me in admiring it, but then a waitress came to the table. She was crying—literally!
Over sobs we heard her saying, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
“What are you sorry about?”
“Your cake is ruined!”
“It looks fine to me.”
“We had it all set up. Everything was perfect on the table, the napkins, the silver, the ice bucket for wine, the cake, and we went back to the kitchen. But then as I came down the hallway, I saw a woman grab a fork and take a piece, and begin to eat it.”
I told her, “No! You can’t do that. That’s Barbara‘s birthday cake. The woman wasn’t convinced. It took another waitress to convince her before she walked away.”
I said, “I can’t see anything wrong.”
“Look at it carefully. There are the marks that she made with the fork.”
I said, “I don’t see any missing piece.”
“I took it out the piece and scrunched it together, so it wouldn’t look so bad.”
The director of food services had ordered the best Sauvignon Blanc and the best bourbon.
My family stood up and toasted my 85th!
The news had just come in that Biden had bowed out of the election race.
They all stood up again.
“Here’s to Mom on her 85th, and to President Biden for his humility and graciousness!”
Cheers all around!
Then the staff and the residents sang Happy Birthday, and I tried to blow out the candles. For some reason there were three candles. On my first try no luck.
Then Steve held me up so I could be on the same level as the candles.
On the second try nothing.
And then finally, the second candle went out. At this point, everyone was cheering, “You can do it, you can do it!”
At last, all the candles were extinguished. Shortly after we adjourned to an adjacent room where I opened my gifts. My two sons, my daughter-in-law Laura, and my grandson Theo gave me beautiful and useful items. Katee, who couldn’t be there because her birthday is the same as mine, always wraps gifts perfectly. But when I looked at the two that Steve had brought with him, I saw they were sealed with shipping tape!
I looked at Steve, and said “Did you wrap these?”
He said, “Oh Mom, neither of them would pass through security. The guard took his knife and split open the boxes. He kept tearing them open more and more to examine what was inside. The Chief Security Guard asked what the problem was. I told him it was a gift for my mom’s birthday.
The guard asked, “How old is she?”
Steve responded, “She’s turning 85.”
One of the gifts was a hard pouch to hold eyeglasses, with a steel base to hold it upright. The other was a mid-size night light, decorated with a hummingbird sipping from a morning glory blossom. The box also contained two batteries which rattled around. As this process went on, Steve heard the last call for his flight!
The chief said to the guard, “I don’t think this young man would be bringing anything dangerous to give to his 85-year-old mother.”
Steve said, “Thank you very much. How can I hold these together until I get to my gate?”
With that, the chief tossed him a roll of shipping tape.
We were all laughing about this, and I said to the waiter, “Please give that group of men sitting over there some of my cake.”
The cake was a checkerboard, so that a person could have all vanilla, all chocolate, or some of each. Knowing that they all love chocolate, I said, “Make it a double portion.”
Four women who also really love chocolate sat nearby. They ate theirs quickly and I said, “There’s plenty, come over and take some back to your apartments.”
The waiter did a beautiful job balancing a double portion of cake into the to-go boxes.
One woman said, “I want a double-double of double chocolate cake.”
“Can somebody do the math? How many pieces is that!” the waiter asked.
We all cheered, and Renee took the cake back to the kitchen.
The next morning, I gave the kitchen staff a list of all the people that I had promised a piece of my cake.
After my lunch, I said, “Please bring those to me now and I will deliver them.”
The same waitress who solved the cake problem the night before came out. She literally went down on her knees.
I asked, “What’s wrong?”
She said, “There’s no cake!”
I said, “How could there not be cake? There was a mammoth amount left last night!”
She said, “This is what happened. The waiter and I put the cake on the rolling cart to take it into the elevator to the basement where there’s a freezer. Only the staff are allowed to use that elevator, but a guest made a mistake and when he opened the door, the cart started to roll out. The waiter and I grabbed the box, trying to keep it upright, but it slid off and fell right onto the person!”
I said, “Oh my god! Isn’t there even a tiny piece I can give as a sample to my friends?”
She shook her head, and said “No, there’s not even a crumb.”